Feeling Stressed?

I was until about 3:30 today when I finished teaching my first lesson in Relief Society. But if you are feeling stressed I have a good talk for you to read. It's called Keeping Life's Demands in Balance by Elder Ballard. I used this talk for my lesson. The past few weeks I have tried simplifying my priorities and writing them down and it has really helped my days go better!

Teaching Relief Society is definitely not my cup of tea, and I have been freaking out about having to teach since I got called as the first counselor in the Relief Society about four months ago, but it really was not that bad. I like to be a listener, not a talker, and I would also much rather follow than lead. These past few months have been huge growing and learning experiences for me. I am surprised at how much I have changed in just a couple months. I used to watch the Relief Society teachers in awe of their bravery to stand up in front of all those girls and teach, and I was always so thankful that I was not the one teaching! I'm glad I finally taught once now so I can finally relax about it a little. I know Scott is probably really glad I finally taught too so he doesn't have to hear me talk about it anymore. Now that I have taught once the next time will be much easier! I told Scott last night that his little girl was growing up. First I spoke in sacrament meeting as an adult speaker for my first time, then I taught Relief Society for my first time. Ha ha. He got a good laugh out of that comment.

Anyway, here are some of the notes from my lesson if you care to read them. Basically Elder Ballard went through eight things we could do to have more balance in our lives so we are better able to feel the spirit.

Activity: Think about a day that you’ve had this past week that was a really good day where you felt happy and satisfied with your day. Maybe nothing really special happened or anything, but you just felt content and productive at the end of the day. Write down the things that you did that day. Pay attention to the little things you did, not just the big obvious things, and write those down too.

Now think of a day this past week that wasn’t necessarily a bad day, but it didn’t feel quite as satisfying and productive. It was just one of those blah days. Not good or bad, but you weren’t as happy with it. Write down some of the things you did that day.

We all have so many things that we need and want to do everyday, but I think the days that we are able to balance all the things that we need or want to do and we are able to put our most important priorities first are the days that we feel so much better and we are better able to feel the spirit and a sense of peace.

I think girls have a natural tendency to try to make everything harder and more complicated than it needs to be, and to try to do too much! It’s hard to feel successful and happy about our day if we always have unrealistic expectations about everything we want to do that day.

Some people have more balance in their lives than others, but I think we could all use a little improvement in having more balance in our lives. I think the biggest and most important thing we can do to have more balance in our lives is to simplify our priorities! If we start our days with a simple list of our most important priorities that we are going to do each day, instead of waking up with a jumble of a million things in our head that we want to do that day, I think our days will go much better.

Talk by Elder M. Russell Ballard: Keeping Life’s Demands in Balance. He gives eight basic suggestions on how we can have more balance and peace in our lives.

The first suggestion he gave was to use an eternal perspective to set priorities.

Quote:
“You have to establish in your life some sense of prioritizing things, of giving emphasis to the important things and of laying aside the unimportant things that will lead to nothing. Establish a sense of justice, a sense of what is good and what is not good, what is important and is not important; and that can become a marvelous and wonderful blessing in your lives” (devotional, Utah Salt Lake City Mission, 15 Dec. 2001). Gordon B. Hinckley

We need to occasionally take some quiet time by ourselves to evaluate our priorities and think about how we are spending our time each day. Then we need to decide what our most important priorities are and write them down. I think the perfect place to take a break from our busy lives to think about our priorities and re-charge ourselves is the temple.

The second suggestion was to set short-term goals that you can reach. I think it’s important to always have some goals written down that we are working on and to pray for guidance in what our goals should be. There is a scripture that goes along with seeking our Heavenly Father’s guidance in setting our goals. Turn to Alma 29: 1, 3, 6. (Alma is wishing that he were an angel so he could cry with a mighty trump of God and shake the earth and cry repentance unto the people. Alma realizes that he is sinning for not being content with the things that Lord has in mind for him to do, and he says why should I desire more than to perform the work to which I have been called?) I think sometimes it’s really easy to get caught up in what we want to do and what we think is best for us and we forget to ask the Lord what he wants us to do.

The third thing that Elder Ballard mentioned to help keep our lives in balance is to be financially responsible and secure.
Quote: “In my judgment, we never will have balance in our lives unless our finances are securely under control.” Elder Ballard

The next thing is to Build Close Relationships with Family and Friends. Next time you are feeling guilty for just sitting there talking or cuddling with your husband, or playing with your kids instead of doing the dishes or the laundry or your homework or whatever you feel like you should be doing at the moment, remember this one! It is really hard to feel productive sometimes when you are having fun and I think that’s why we feel guilty for taking breaks to allow us to spend time with family and friends, but we need to realize that doing that is one of the most productive and important things we can do! The church did a study on adults in the United States and had them identify when they were happy and describe the experiences and also to describe a time when they were the most unhappy. They found that for most people, the thing that made them the most happy or sad was their relationships with others. I bet if we all thought of a time when we were the most happy or sad ourselves it would have to do with our relationship with others. Our relationships with others is truly what makes us the happiest, not how clean our house is, how good our grades are in school, how good our job is, or how much money we have.

One of the most important ways we can build strong relationships is through good communication, and I think the most important person we can have good communication with is our husband.
Quote:
I believe communication strengthens marriage as faith strengthens testimony. Faith is not always easy to hold, but if we follow counsel from Alma 32:27—“yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you”—our belief will begin to grow and our understanding increase. I believe if we as couples can no more than desire to have better communication in our marriages and we let this desire work in us, day by day our marriages can become stronger and eventually able to endure for eternity.—Camille Gold, Woodville First Ward, Shelley Idaho Stake

I thought that was a really cool analogy of how important communication is in our marriage. We can think of communication as strengthening our marriage just like faith strengthens our testimonies. Sometimes it’s really hard to have faith in certain situations just like it’s hard to have good communication in certain situations. Most of the time it’s easier to keep quiet about things that we really should talk to our husbands about, but it will create problems and grudges in the long run.

The fifth suggestion is to study the scriptures daily. The whole purpose of keeping balance in our lives is so that we can have the spirit with us, and the scriptures are one of the best sources we have to keep us in touch with the spirit. We all know that our days go better when we read the scriptures. It is such a simple thing, and I think that’s why it can be such a struggle sometimes. We overlook it because it is so simple.

The next one is to Rest, Exercise, and Relax. It’s OK to let yourself take naps or just sit down and relax when you are tired or need a break. If you feel guilty taking naps and relaxing, you can remind yourself that an apostle said it was OK! :) It seems like if we take a nap or relax we will get less done, but really we will just do everything slower and less efficiently if we are tired and just dragging ourselves through our day. If we are taking care of ourselves and getting rest and exercise then we will feel much better and be better able to take care of others. So in other words, taking care of ourselves is taking care of others!

The seventh suggestion is to Teach One Another the Gospel preferably in our weekly Family Home Evening.

Quote: “I wish to mention … family home evening. We are fearful that this very important program is fading in too many areas. Brethren, there is nothing more important than your families. You know that. This program was begun back in 1915, 87 years ago, when President Joseph F. Smith urged the Latter-day Saints to set aside one evening a week devoted specifically to the family. It was to be a time of teaching, of reading the scriptures, of cultivating talents, of discussing family matters….
“If there was a need 87 years ago, that need is certainly much greater today (Gordon B. Hinckley)

The last one is to Pray Often. We need to make sure we are praying often by ourselves and with our husbands.

Quote: I know of no other practice that will have so salutary an effect upon your lives as will the practice of kneeling together in prayer….Your daily conversations with him will bring peace into your hearts and a joy into your lives that can come from no other source. Gordon B. Hinckley

When we try to simplify our lives and just focus on a few important priorities each day we will be in tune spiritually which will help us balance everything else in our lives much more easily.

Elder Ballard said that he believes when we focus on a few basic objectives we are more likely to be able to manage the many demands that life makes on us. Too much of anything can throw us off balance, and too little of the important things can also throw us off balance.

The end! Try it and see how you feel!