Hard=Good

**For those of you who don't care about my every thought and pace during my race last Saturday, I'll give you the short and sweet version. I ran a 5K and got my best time. Yay! The end. :)**

Now for the details, don't mind if I do. After all, it is my journal. 

I've been a very goal oriented person since I was young enough to remember freaking my parents out by riding my bike in crazy circles around the garage, turning just sharp enough to keep the bike from tipping over, the very day I learned to ride a bike. Now you're wondering if my goal was to freak my parents out, or ride my bike in crazy tight circles huh? I don't remember exactly, but I think it's safe to say a little of both. When I get something in my head that I want to do, I become obsessed with it until it gets done. I love to set goals and have something hard to work towards and focus on.

I've had a goal to run under 20 minutes in the 5K for quite awhile now. Something about crossing off that 2 and changing it to a 1 was very motivating to me. My Tuesday interval times made me think I might have a shot at crossing that 2 off my 5K time. I decided to give it a try even though I wasn't specifically training for a 5K, but it couldn't hurt to try. I searched for a Saturday race and found the SAWS (San Antonio Water Systems) 5K on April 2nd, to help raise money for families in San Antonio who need water. If nothing else, I thought it would be a good tempo run to add to my second to last long run before Boston (2nd to last! Wahoo!). I always try to have a back-up plan like that in the back of my mind just in case I don't reach my goal. That way running is always a positive thing, and I can always find something to feel satisfied about after any run no matter the outcome. That's one thing I've learned to do with running that keeps me running. I always try to have at least two goals in mind before any race or run...one worst case goal, and one best case goal, and then I try to be mentally prepared to accept either at the finish line.

I got to the race just in time to do a 2 mile warm up, and what better place to warm up than the race course? I started jogging along the race course, which I had just learned was an out and back course. As I'm jogging along on runner cloud 9, hoping today will be the day to cross that obsession goal off my list,  I call my friend Camille to make sure she's still coming. I tell her what a beautiful day it is to run, and how the course is a nice gradual decline so far. She kindly reminds me that that nice gradual decline will be a nice gradual incline on the way back. Oh ya. Crap. I continue my warm-up, and that nice gradual decline turns in to a big steep decline. Double crap. That's when my game plan to run a 6:30 the first mile, a 6:15 the second, and give it all I had the last went out the window. My new plan was just run my guts out and hope the first 2 miles were fast enough to spare me some extra time on that beastly hill.

 I made it to mile one in 6:06 somewhat relieved that I just earned a few more seconds to spare on the hill, and somewhat disappointed that I've still never seen a 5 at a mile marker. That's another obsession goal I have. I have never ever run a sub 6 minute mile that I know of. 6:00 flat, yes, but 5:59, no. Anyway, I made it to mile 2 in about 12:25. I tried to do some math in my head despite the pain in my body taking up most of my mental capacity. I was a little discouraged when I realized I had 1.1 miles to go and less than 7.5 minutes to do it. It wasn't the 7.5 that was discouraging to me, it was getting up that nasty hill.

I tried to push the self doubt away and just focus on "emptying the tank". I was determined to cross that finish line knowing that I had nothing left in me. I cranked it up the hill as fast as I could, trying my best to ignore the feeling that my lungs might explode. I made it to the 3 mile marker in about 19:15, and the course was finally flat again. With .1 to go, I was past ready for the intense pain to be over. It's amazing how hard your body tries to get your mind to let it quit during the very last part of a race whether you're at mile 25 of a marathon, or mile 3 of a 5K. I've realized that all those hard training runs leading up to a race are actually more for the mental strength they build than the physical. The last part of a race always comes down to your mind being stronger than the pain in your body telling it to quit. I always think of hard workouts to get me through the toughest parts of races. At the 3 mile marker I thought of the 12x200 workout I had done a few days before where my legs had felt like jelly on the fourth one, but I somehow managed to make it to #12. I told myself that this .1 was 200 #12. I managed to let the mind win, and I pumped my arms as best as I could, hoping my beat legs would follow.

And they did. 19:43 was my official time. 

The first thing that came out of my mouth at that finish line besides a huge breath of relief was, "That's the hardest thing I've ever done." And at that moment in time it was. Running has taught me that it's not the specific goal or award we achieve that we are proud of, it's how hard we work to achieve that specific goal. I've learned that this concept is true not only with running, but with anything in life.  Nothing good in life comes easy. (i.e. kids (couldn't resist. Ha ha), marriage, talents, service, etc. etc.) The harder, the better. :)

Hard =good.